The Gareth Cliff Show

Marry for money... pillaging can be funny

24.08.20 Pt 1 - Unless it's a metaphor for catastrophic ends to relationships, nobody cares about sinkholes after seeing 4 of them. Should morning breath and bed farts be the highlight of relationships? One divorce is a given, accept that - the second marriage is for love, the first one…

24 Aug 2020 12AM 48 min

The Face you Deserve

21.08.20 Pt 2 - After the age of 45 you don't age, you get the face you deserve... should've used sunscreen at 20 Susan. 2020 has been consistent - horrible, but consistent. If you want to waste your best years, marry young. Crime is a talent, shout out to Shmuley…

21 Aug 2020 1AM 1 hour

The name's Pause... Menopause

21.08.20 Pt 1 - Durban is a tropical paradise, snow would bring heart failure to the surfers. The Kalvaris measure wellness by being the best of a mediocre bunch. Anti-semitism is not worth your child's university fees. Menopause should be meno-off. A gay uncle brings a 4th dimension to your…

21 Aug 2020 12AM 51 min

Prison beards online

20.08.20 Pt 2 - Alright, let's get this straight... just be nice and we'll vote for you. How wild is it that the USA's potential Vice-President was a weed smoking legal practitioner not so long ago? If you are going to be on an online call... unmute your mic, it's…

20 Aug 2020 1AM 51 min

Putin the vaccine in your veins

20.08.20 Pt 1 - If your ex-wife is asking for money and you had a R267 million upgrade on your house, which she lived in, it's probably a good thing you are divorced. Cardi B and her home boy Joe Biden are about "dat political life ya'll!" Covid is dead…

20 Aug 2020 12AM 52 min

Children... the ultimate Depreciating Asset

19.08.20 Pt 2 - The honest truth is that children are very rarely a good investment if you are looking for any sort of ROI. Who's the disaster in your family, be honest it's you isn't it, yes you in the mirror! If your lady bits have WAP tendencies, what…

19 Aug 2020 1AM 56 min

WAP Ladies need a Plumber

19.08.20 Pt 1 - If you are a Virgo, are you better at harvesting 'night energy' by closing your eyes for 8 hours or so... if only we had five letters to describe that process? Do we need to cater for luddites on Zoom? Tracy Chapman says "forgive me" -…

19 Aug 2020 12AM 53 min

Woohoo in Wuhan!

18.08.20 Pt 2 - They're going woohoo in Wuhan, how do we feel about this? Please don't shame your work colleagues who have let themselves go in lockdown... rather ring a shame bell - it's the right level of cruelty without being a monster. The lead singer's girlfriend is not…

18 Aug 2020 1AM 49 min

He lived & he is dead

18.08.20 Pt 1 - Fellow South Africans, not to worry, NDZ didn't do anything. She was a victim of 'the machine', plus she was married to Jacob - so there's that. Should you be shallow or do people's personalities mean anything in the year of our lord, Instagram 2020. If…

18 Aug 2020 12AM 52 min

Be Tender on Tinder

17.08.20 Pt 2 - William and his wife might run out of money soon, how will a poor Prince live? Are pandemics a hotspot for Tinder trolls? Education pays, they say, NSFAS in particular. If you are going to travel, don't take a boat to Greece, they're not taking visitors…

17 Aug 2020 1AM 52 min

Graceful nipples

17.08.20 Pt 1 - Should we ban the booze benders in South Africa? What do you do if your neighbour's nipples are on display for all to see, like Grace Kelly in Rear Window? Politicians wouldn't dick around if they had less room for corruption. Lockdown friends are best if…

17 Aug 2020 12AM 58 min

Dlamini the Drunkard Downer

14.08.20 Pt 2 - Level 2 is on the way, but it comes with a few creases. If we're going to be out in public, maybe dancing girls in nightclubs have the solution. Is there anything as cold as a whore's heart? Only methheads don't answer calls... put the pipe…

14 Aug 2020 1AM 59 min

The People's Mug

14.08.20 Pt 1 - Charles was once married to a princess who was liked by people, that was no good... you can get a mug with them on there though. Should people augment their looks, or should they age naturally? There's a new chief of YouTube, he sings badly, but…

14 Aug 2020 12AM 56 min

Data in my back door

13.08.20 Pt 2 - Brexit has a cousin and this cousin comes with good weather, wine and a mountain. If you have an iPhone you can now determine where your data goes, including which tech giants can crawl up your rear orifice to exploit you. The big money backs the…

13 Aug 2020 1AM 59 min

Are Ellen's chakras cancelled too?

13.08.20 Pt 1 - The prayer of the devil exists only in the man who runs when he's not being chased. Are chakras real, because maybe the seasons affect how you should live your life? Is South Africa against being protected by its protector? Does the President wear slippers while…

13 Aug 2020 12AM 49 min

Cofat-19... no bath is wide enough

12.08.20 Pt 2 - The real pandemic is Cofat-19, waist expansion - coming to beaches near you soon. Kamala Harris is the running mate nomination for Joe Biden and is in the hot seat right away. Shock horror... some people are actually just nice people. The US Presidential race might…

12 Aug 2020 1AM 55 min

Squish for the Covid

12.08.20 Pt 1 - Do you bath or shower in the mornings, and what does that say about you? Is it a nightmare to turn on a manual geyser? Corruption is alright, until you're gatvol. Is patriotism useful? If you want the Covid cure to work, squish the lemon, don't…

12 Aug 2020 12AM 55 min

The Secret Social Lube

11.08.20 Pt 2 - If you keep secrets, does it matter to you who gets hurt? Is there such a thing as the 'bro code'? Julius Malema seems to think Vaseline is important for the relationship citizens share with the ruling party. Calling some people ''emotionally wonky" is tough, but…

11 Aug 2020 1AM 55 min

The Old & The Restless

11.08.20 Pt 1 - The old and the restless met up for a secret party this past weekend, just be careful of those thirsty gold diggers... they'll bring down an empire. If you are in a relationship, do you need two cellphones to prevent being caught? The Nkandla tuckshop is…

11 Aug 2020 12AM 53 min

Lizard Brains like Poker

07.08.20 Pt 2 - The good news is that science exists. Our lizard brains lead us to be excited by certain headlines, why is this? Sorry to hear that you need to be spoon fed, but some people like to think. The king of hedonism is in hot water... insane…

7 Aug 2020 1AM 54 min