The Gareth Cliff Show

Blood on the dishes

07.09.20 Pt 1 - You probably should test your roommate's reaction to pressure, because you may need them in an emergency. If you were to lose your dominant hand, which tasks would be impossible? Sisulu might be living in Nkandla-Lite. Your juice might kill you, be careful. Carole is ‘Baskin’…

7 Sep 2020 12AM 52 min

Rodents dancing in Reeds

04.09.20 Pt 2 - Are leopards scared of white people? Is there an identity politic in the leopard community? A close encounter in Simbithi reveals all. Some might say rats have always run New York, but now rodents are actually in charge of the Big Apple. Should you ever date…

4 Sep 2020 1AM 55 min

Hair today - Gone tomorrow!

04.09.20 Pt 1 - Eating in a restaurant during Covid is like pulling teeth, they need to figure out the digital menu. Australia has turned into a big prison again, the Brits must be proud of what they built. Gene-modified babies... good or scary? Dear Jonathan, sorry we don't plan…

4 Sep 2020 12AM 41 min

“I can't be racist, I don't smoke“

03.09.20 Pt 2 - The Zondo Commission is turning into a dramatic soapie, fit for the silver screen. Why doesn't South Africa invest in its high value assets like Elon Musk? Is identity politics a smart way of voting in South Africa? Is there a way to allow for corruption,…

3 Sep 2020 1AM 55 min

The Wall insulted the Judge

03.09.20 Pt 1 - Attention seeking generally makes you really unaware in life... get out of the aisle Sharon, we don't need to hear about your heel balm. Short people are going to hell, which is tough - who'll clean the top of their fridge? Don't judge me if I…

3 Sep 2020 12AM 57 min

Just keep on Rowling

02.09.20 Pt 2 - JK Rowling didn't realise that identity politics on Twitter could get her what we now call the 'Ellen treatment'. To make things worse, the children she turned into millionaires are standing on her Twitter grave. Did poor people eat soot back in the day to survive?…

2 Sep 2020 1AM 50 min

Butterbean is a Knockout King

02.09.20 Pt 1 - It seems no matter where you are on planet Earth, the middle-aged have a cough of mortality which develops. Butterbean will knock you out in more ways than one. BC actually means something other than what the Book of Genesis tells you. If you want to…

2 Sep 2020 12AM 56 min

War is not Fabulous

01.09.20 Pt 2 - The photos on Instagram are not real life, who will tell the youth this? Celebrities do not owe you the truth. If you are a parent, here's a bitter pill to swallow... raise your own kids! Would you want a fabulous Major in real time war?…

1 Sep 2020 1AM 51 min

Tito the Twitterer

01.09.20 Pt 1 - We've already had Stalin, and now we are asking our own Comrades to be muted. What is to be done when a national broadcaster can't broadcast? The G-Wagon lifestyle is a whole network of lies. Rule number 1: Always treat your girlfriend better than your wife…

1 Sep 2020 12AM 56 min

Not all Dutch Ovens stink

31.08.20 Pt 2 - Cape Town had snow on Table Mountain... is 2020 the year the Mayans had spoken of and we just heard 2012? The term Dutch Oven shouldn't offend you, because it's a real thing - not just hot air. When you're 111, do you want a big…

31 Aug 2020 1AM 53 min

Siya shouldn't Shovel

31.08.20 Pt 1 - If you go home and you get a bit of respect, go ahead and milk it, hell it's 2020! Funerals are no Spring Day folks... they're hard work and the dirt doesn't shovel itself. If you bring another woman into someone’s brother's bedroom, try and make…

31 Aug 2020 12AM 50 min

The Cat in the Hat got divorced

28.08.20 Pt 2 - If you love podcasts enough, it's worth leaving your husband because of them... no husband is safe! If you are going to have a chemistry lab for fun, make sure you don't have too much of a blast. Some people read The Cat in the Hat,…

28 Aug 2020 1AM 52 min

The Apex Ass

28.08.20 Pt 1 - The lockdown had practical uses within the stakeholder community. The apex of Assology is taking two anuses and reducing them to one. Dating James Dalton might be the 3rd degree of romance. Support small businesses - they need you, be a good oke and okess!

28 Aug 2020 12AM 55 min

To win the race, play this card

27.08.20 Pt 2 - Donald is rolling out his Trump card for the 2020 election campaign. Sometimes in life, you just need to be the best of the worst to win... it's not that hard. Is it possible to cancel, cancel culture? Are South Africans innately geared to problem solving?

27 Aug 2020 1AM 54 min

Close the garage door, I'm married!

27.08.20 Pt 1 - If someone leaves your life for two weeks and they say they have big news... it's marriage, not a baby. Garage doors lead to marriage proposals. If you aren't honest, isn't it tiring? America's President wants his contemporaries to be drug tested, what a year 2020…

27 Aug 2020 12AM 55 min

How to find those missing car keys

26.08.20 Pt 1 - It's not great if you choke on your own saliva and nearly croak, but at least it'll help you find your keys. If your life is too boring, your dreams need to be thrilling. Sias du Plessis joins us to discuss being the most famous ginger…

26 Aug 2020 1AM 58 min

Gord today, Stormtrooper tomorrow

26.08.20 Pt 1 - Sometimes it's important to know whether you would rather be killed by a crocodile or a bear, these are the important questions. Why do sportsmen all sound the same in interviews? Was Stonehenge the KFC of its time? Thai or tie, which is it - and…

26 Aug 2020 12AM 50 min

The 5c Coin Bird & Satan

25.08.20 Pt 2 - If people use long words, are you impressed or do you think they should go to hell with their private school English? Here's the beginning of every great joke... there's a wax candle, a blue crane and a naked man in the veld! If you are…

25 Aug 2020 1AM 54 min

Do witches fold fitted sheets?

25.08.20 Pt 1 - If you have a good woman, keep her alive... it turns out their death is your death. If you are above the age of 15, surely you should know the difference between a fitted sheet and a flat sheet? If you want to know about the…

25 Aug 2020 12AM 52 min

Doreen Morris wrote the book of Genesis

24.08.20 Pt 2 - No matter how tough times get, stay away from mashonisas... they take an arm, a leg, and your liver with their gargantuan interest rates. Doreen Morris is possibly older than Mary Magdalene, and wasn't featured in the bible, but hopefully she gets her own avatar in…

24 Aug 2020 1AM 55 min