Kaya 959 Point of View with Phemelo Motene

LETS TALK RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE ZWANES: How we choose a partner.

Loading player...
How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes. How logical, then, that we should as adults find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a little too right – in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding and reliable – given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearned. We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration.
16 Nov 2022 8AM English South Africa Education · Careers

Other recent episodes

Gaza’s displaced face another winter of flooding and deadly conditions

Thousands of displaced Palestinians in Gaza are facing freezing conditions after heavy rains and strong winds flooded tent camps, leaving families without dry shelter. At least four people, including three children, reportedly died during the latest storm, while aid organisations estimate that around 1.4 million people are living in tents…
10 Nov 2PM 12 min

ANCYL rules out DA and right-wing parties in ANC coalition deals

The African National Congress Youth League (ANCYL) has declared the Democratic Alliance (DA) and right-wing parties off-limits for coalition arrangements involving the ANC, citing ideological differences over Black Economic Empowerment, affirmative action and economic redress. The league says electoral losses should not come at the expense of the ANC’s founding…
10 Nov 2PM 7 min

SALGA urges political parties to prioritise stability in hung municipalities

The South African Local Government Association (SALGA) is urging political parties to put communities and service delivery first as they negotiate coalition arrangements following the 2026 local government elections. With 127 of the country’s 213 municipalities facing hung councils, SALGA warns that unstable coalitions could undermine municipal performance and calls…
10 Nov 2PM 11 min

Matlala denies gifting impala to General Sibiya

Vusimuzi “Cat” Matlala has denied giving 20 impala to General Shadrack Sibiya, telling the Madlanga Commission that he allowed Sergeant Fannie Nkosi to take the animals from his Bela-Bela farm without knowing who would receive them. His testimony followed questions about the timing of WhatsApp exchanges involving the impala and…
10 Nov 1PM 8 min

UCT vice-chancellor complaints questioned after 18 people deny filing them

Questions have emerged over the complaints against University of Cape Town Vice-Chancellor Professor Mosa Moshabela after investigators found that 18 of the 20 people they managed to contact denied lodging complaints against him. The disclosure appears in court papers filed as part of Moshabela’s High Court review, raising concerns about…
10 Nov 1PM 6 min
All episodes