Fatherhood, creativity, and community building: Parenting as a creative act with Dillion Phiri
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Dillion Phiri is a Zimbabwean-Malawian father, entrepreneur, filmmaker, and social sculptor based in Johannesburg. As founder of Creative Nestlings, he's built a Pan-African network of 100,000+ creatives. But today we're talking about how fatherhood is the foundation of everything he does. He has five kids—two biological, three inherited through his blended family—and he centers every decision around being a good parent, friend, and example to them.
Dillion became a father at 22 and it changed everything. He quit his first good job because he realized if he stayed, he wouldn't be living his dreams and therefore wouldn't be a good example for his son. He didn't have a present father growing up, so he made a promise to himself to always be a good dad. What surprised him most was how his kids taught him not to take things for granted—time, joy, simple experiences. They make all five kids draw every day as a discipline practice, even though he can't draw himself. They run for 30 minutes daily, watch basketball highlights together, and learn Japanese. It's about pattern-making, doing hard things, building skills.
The tension between creativity for joy versus creativity for money is real. He shows his kids the invoice from an illustrator who made a billboard so they understand the monetary value of creative work. His partner is a painter, so they see her process too—the struggle to sell, to let go, to make a living from art. He's teaching them that creativity is work like any other, but it can be sustainable and joyful. As a provider, he wishes he could be a house dad making films at home, but he's privileged that his career allows him to be present while working. He's been away for three weeks, and the kids are fine, which is both reassuring and humbling.
What stands out most is how Dillion talks about emotional regulation, accountability, and vulnerability. He went to therapy and works with life coaches because he realized triggers don't have to mean reactions—you just find ways through them. He apologizes to his kids when he's wrong. He makes them call him four times a day, not because they need it, but because time is finite and he wants them to remember he was the annoying dad who was always there. He's teaching them that just because you're angry doesn't mean the world is ending. Just because you didn't get what you wanted doesn't mean you're poor. It's all about regulation and dealing with things as they come. This generation of fathers is earning respect by being genuine, authentic, and admitting mistakes. It's revolutionary compared to the authority figures who demanded respect without question.
Connect with Dillion:
Creative Nestlings Website: https://www.creativenestlings.com/
Facebook: https://facebook.com/creativenestlings
Instagram: https://instagram.com/creativenestlings
X.com: https://twitter.com/creativenestlin
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/creativenestlings
Follow Carly on:
Website: https://onthecouchwithcarly.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfBi56xQookfRGL3zvWVzCg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthecouchwithcarly/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onthecouchwithcarly/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onthecouchwithcarly
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/on-the-couch-with-carly/id1497585376
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3t7A2FMnISQ2fz9D5p0Xuw
Dillion became a father at 22 and it changed everything. He quit his first good job because he realized if he stayed, he wouldn't be living his dreams and therefore wouldn't be a good example for his son. He didn't have a present father growing up, so he made a promise to himself to always be a good dad. What surprised him most was how his kids taught him not to take things for granted—time, joy, simple experiences. They make all five kids draw every day as a discipline practice, even though he can't draw himself. They run for 30 minutes daily, watch basketball highlights together, and learn Japanese. It's about pattern-making, doing hard things, building skills.
The tension between creativity for joy versus creativity for money is real. He shows his kids the invoice from an illustrator who made a billboard so they understand the monetary value of creative work. His partner is a painter, so they see her process too—the struggle to sell, to let go, to make a living from art. He's teaching them that creativity is work like any other, but it can be sustainable and joyful. As a provider, he wishes he could be a house dad making films at home, but he's privileged that his career allows him to be present while working. He's been away for three weeks, and the kids are fine, which is both reassuring and humbling.
What stands out most is how Dillion talks about emotional regulation, accountability, and vulnerability. He went to therapy and works with life coaches because he realized triggers don't have to mean reactions—you just find ways through them. He apologizes to his kids when he's wrong. He makes them call him four times a day, not because they need it, but because time is finite and he wants them to remember he was the annoying dad who was always there. He's teaching them that just because you're angry doesn't mean the world is ending. Just because you didn't get what you wanted doesn't mean you're poor. It's all about regulation and dealing with things as they come. This generation of fathers is earning respect by being genuine, authentic, and admitting mistakes. It's revolutionary compared to the authority figures who demanded respect without question.
Connect with Dillion:
Creative Nestlings Website: https://www.creativenestlings.com/
Facebook: https://facebook.com/creativenestlings
Instagram: https://instagram.com/creativenestlings
X.com: https://twitter.com/creativenestlin
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/creativenestlings
Follow Carly on:
Website: https://onthecouchwithcarly.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfBi56xQookfRGL3zvWVzCg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthecouchwithcarly/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onthecouchwithcarly/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onthecouchwithcarly
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/on-the-couch-with-carly/id1497585376
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3t7A2FMnISQ2fz9D5p0Xuw
Chapters
- 00:14 Introduction to Dillion Phiri: filmmaker, entrepreneur, social sculptor, father
- 02:02 Fatherhood as the foundation of everything Dillion does
- 02:54 Becoming a father at 22 and quitting his first good job
- 03:27 What surprised him: kids taught him not to take things for granted
- 04:54 Making all five kids draw every day as discipline practice
- 06:34 The tension between creativity for joy versus creativity for money
- 07:19 Teaching kids financial literacy through real examples
- 09:19 Is being the provider particular to being a dad?
- 10:04 Wanting to be a house dad but having to work
- 12:03 Breaking the mold: fatherhood is more than just providing
- 13:18 Helping kids find themselves, their passions, and their breaking points
- 14:09 Teaching discipline through daily patterns: running, drawing, watching basketball
- 15:18 Emotional regulation: anger doesn't have to lead to violence
- 16:09 Calling his kids four times a day because time is finite
- 17:29 How Dillion learned emotional regulation through therapy and life coaching
- 18:38 Triggers are just triggers—you have to find ways through them
- 19:32 His father's regret before passing: he did care, just didn't know how to show it
- 20:37 Owning up to mistakes and apologizing to your kids
- 21:21 This generation earns respect by being genuine and authentic
- 22:35 Accountability across generations: differences in parenting styles
- 23:47 Transparency is important: explain situations to kids
- 24:31 Creating new narratives by talking about conscious fatherhood
- 25:32 Building a blended family: five kids from different relationships
- 27:22 Fathering as a character trait: nurturer and community maker
- 28:21 Being a social sculptor: building worlds for others to thrive in
- 29:55 Advice to dads: just show up, it's easier than you think
- 32:03 Why dads don't show up: fear of vulnerability
- 33:16 Fatherhood is a privilege and an honor
