The Mauling News (Archive)
An irreverent look at the news (not) making headlines!
Viva Bafana viva shakes Mashaba!
Rumours abound that Bafana's Shakes Mashaba had a side bet with Nigeria before their AFCON crunch match last night. The bet; who ever loses keeps TB Joshua. Viva Bafana viva shakes Mashaba!
Italy is about to make history
Italy is about to make history by sending the first Italian woman astronaut into space. She commented earlier: when the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie I'll be half way.
Beyonce's sister ties the knot
Beyoncé's sister has successfully made it to the alter. JayZ had to bite his tongue at the end of reception not to say; Solange and thanks for the cake.
Owls are the hardest to train
It has emerged that owls are the hardest to train because they are actually the least intelligent of the birds. Which makes the collective noun even more accurate - a parliament of owls.
Virgin Money
Richard Branson launched Virgin Money to the UK yesterday. It's the same as usual money it's just that it has been handled a lot less.
Emergency services called to the World Trade Centre
Emergency services were called to the world trade centre in NY City yesterday again. This time to rescue two window cleaners. We propose that they just change the buildings name to world terrible things happen centre.
Your ten 21st century philosophies
It has been brought to the MNN's attention that since the advent of social media there have been no real philosophers in the calibre as Socrates or Nietzsche or Descartes. So here is your ten 21st century philosophies
That won't work in South Africa
A recent survey has shown that as many as a third if all jobs in the UK can and will be replaced by robots in the next 20 years. That wouldn't work here. One thunderstorm and our robots are out for days.
Coincidence, I think not
Yesterday 25 years ago the Berlin Wall came down, and Steve Hofmeyr released his first album. Coincidence, I think not.
Off-Duty
We need to get to the bottom of this - Mauling News reports
Twar between Steve hofmeyr and a puppet
What does Julius Malema, Floyd shivambu an the EFF mps have in common? Mauling News reports
The best whiskey in the world
For the 1st time in centuries the best whiskey in the world is not made in Scotland. It's made in Japan! Mauling News reports
Is Siyanda Xulu leaving the Russian Racists?
A Russian spokesperson denies allegations racisim after news broke about South African footballer Siyanda Xulu considering to leave. It seems though that the statement is stick historically stuck to them!
USA vs All blacks
For the first time on their national sports television networks, the US CITIZENS watched a rugby game. USA vs All blacks. Most Americans commented with: why don't we have real sports like this?
Pope Francis has really thrown a spanner in the works
This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him." I'll be back…
The most popular words with teenagers are...
It might surprise you to know that the three most popular words with teenagers are not Selfie, Twerk and ermagerd but congratulations you passed.
Good news for naturists
Plans to make Mpenjati Beach in KZN a nudist beach have been approved: the contract was laid bare early yesterday. And details will shortly be published in a small booblet.
No harm No foul
We would like to assure the community that in this climate of increased mall attacks that our own Mall, East Coast Radio's Darren Maule has not been compromised in anyway!
If the Dali lama had been allowed into SA
If the Dali lama had been allowed into the country of SA, he would have explained what Karma is. Like South Africa's president being denied an audience with British Prime Minister James Cameron. Karma disguise itself well. Kind of like a karma chameleon.
Julius Malema has now been charged with assault
Julius Malema charged with assault for manhandling an irate customer at a steers in Limpopo. Malema said he didn't invite his 7 body guards to join in, they just super sized the conflict!