The Mauling News
An irreverent look at the news (not) making headlines!
Most loving Mauling News
Ladies, it's Valentines, but if you're a plus sized girl, only get on top if you like Candy Crush.
It's the Mauling News, state of the nation address
Eskom says it can not guarantee that they can keep the lights on for SONA2015 or as Gwede Mantashe calls it, Cabinet by Candlelight.
Hot day in KZN
It was so hot yesterday that residents of EThekwini were frying eggs on their stoep. Also because there was load shedding.
Listen to your leaders
We need to listen to our leaders a bit more. Not because they are always right, but because they have so often been wrong. Mauling News reports
Chad ho did it... Again!
Chad ho has won his 6th consecutive Midmar mile. The history books will reflect that for six years it was ho ho ho, ho ho ho. The women's event is more telling. For a record eighth year. The record books for the grueling event will reflect: Payne!
The most powerful Mauling news to date
Eskom in an attempt to placate the public are changing the name of its headquarters from Maga Watt park to mega what time is load shedding today.
Another shocking literary announcement
Eskom is set to release a reveal all booklet on its dirty power cut secrets. 50 Sheds a Day.
I promise to...
Robert Mugabe promises to usher in a new age to the African Union now that he is the chairman. He has promised to put a man on the moon, give woman the vote and will engage scientists on their fascinating research into electricity.
World's heaviest drinkers
A new study shows that SA is now ranked 4th of the world's heaviest drinkers. That is just an estimate of course, as many alcoholics are anonymous... Mauling News reports.
Loggerhead turtles washed up on Cape Town beaches
Scores of loggerhead turtles have washed up on Cape beaches miles from their natural habitat. No one can decide who's responsibility the loggerheads are, environmentalists or biologists. They are ironically at loggerheads with each other. Mauling News reports
Hashim Amla not pleased with Quintin de Kock
Hashim Amla was not too pleased with Quintin de kocks ODI performance yesterday. Why you wonder? Find out in today's Mauling News
Another wonderful day in SA
After another lovely day in SA and load shedding, when will Eskom realise that there is a giant ball of never ending fission energy that rises and sets somewhere in the world every single day. It's the kind of deal that will never have the tag line Pay Back the…
Reversing the Blame
A man on the South Coast has been arrested for growing marijuana in his back yard... His defense... Find out in today's Mauling News
The evolution of women's rights
If Helen Zille has taught us one thing is that 100 years ago women had no rights, 60 years ago women fought for their rights. Today, women are always right. Catch the Mauling News here.
Bonafide Diarrhoea Season has started
The DA Yesterday announced the beginning of a bonafide Diarrhoea Season. This is a real season and a real issue. So please, no more crappy jokes. This effects everyone, in the poor and effluent areas...At least the price of pooperty will come down.
Unsatisfactory bunny chow
A local restaurant did not know what hit them when an EFF member wanted a refund for what he said was a unsatisfactory bunny chow. Find out why the owner finally gave in in today's Mauling News.
Awkward moment alert
There was an awkward moment yesterday when a Lesotho health official was asked to give the statistics on TB in that country. She said that 9 out of 10 Lesotho's have TB. Are you positive? Yes...no....yes....no. Mauling News Reports
Durban Millionaire
Rumour has it that Durban Millionaire bought a couple of Picasso's this weekend. Why? Mauling News reports
Top weekend tweet
And the tweet of the weekend goes to Casper de Vries who said: damn it, forgot to get up early for gym again today! That makes it 17 years in a row.
Understanding women.
Bob Newhart and his wife have been married now for 52 years. His advice about understanding women. Do not try to understand women just keep buying them stuff.