Asking For A Friend

CATRIONA BOFFARD  |  Podcast , ±47 min episodes every 1 week, 3 days  | 
Ever had a question you felt too embarrassed to ask, and instead asked that question “for a friend”?

Hosted by Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist Catriona Boffard, Asking for a Friend brings you fascinating and interesting conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and mental and physical health. In each episode, Catriona will bring you evidence-based information and real-world advice on topics that are not often discussed but that we really need to normalise and talk more about. She’s joined by special guests who are all experts in their fields or have lived experiences of these topics. Follow Catriona on Instagram at @sexologywithcatriona

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Season two finale Q&A - S2E12

It's the final episode of the season, and so I'm ending things off with your questions.

In this episode, I am answering the following questions sent to me by listeners and followers (and one friend):
1. My orgasms are just not as intense as they used to be… what’s happening?
2. My new boyfriend says he can’t orgasm with a condom on, and I’m not using a contraceptive. Is withdrawing ok?
3. My partner doesn’t like going down on me! Is that normal or is it something wrong with me?
4. Why do people want to have phone sex?
5. Should every woman aim to be a squirter for optimal sexual pleasure?

See you soon for season 3, and even more fascinating and necessary conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships and wellbeing.

Closing the orgasm gap, with Dr Laurie Mintz - S2E11

It’s the final guest episode in season two, and I want to end with a bang (so to speak). I was so excited to chat to the extraordinary Dr Laurie Mintz and this conversation did not disappoint.

Dr Mintz is a therapist with nearly 3 decades of experience, a professor at the University of Florida teaching the Psychology of Human Sexuality, and a highly regarded speaker and author, who has dedicated her career to female pleasure and promoting sex positive conversations and education among the students she’s taught. She is the author of the hugely popular books “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It” and “A Tired Women’s Guide to Passionate Sex”.

In this episode, Laurie and I discuss everything you need to know about female pleasure. If you identify as a woman or have sex with someone who does, then you need to listen to this episode! We talk sexual anatomy, the right to pleasure, what’s wrong with the way we’re taught about sex, and how to get the most pleasure possible.

Dr Laurie Mintz is utterly wonderful to follow on Instagram and you can find her there @drlauriemintz. Her website is, and you can purchase her books online there too!

This is what the clitoris really looks like…

Challenging masculine norms, with Haydn Elliot - S2E10

In this week’s episode, I chatted to my friend Haydn Elliott, who also happens to be a brilliant businessman and podcaster based in London. Haydn co-owns and runs hugely popular F45 gyms in London and hosts the podcast The Inspiration Space. He has an unwavering passion for how to optimise health, fitness and mindset.

In this discussion, we delve into the toll that depression and burnout can have on mental and sexual health. Haydn shares intimately about how his experiences impacted his self-worth, his sexual response and his relationships. As someone who sees himself as a 'boys-boy', these experience could have been even more challenging had he not shifted his thinking to a growth mindset.

You can listen to Haydn’s podcast on all major platforms, find him at their F45 gyms in London, or reach out on social media to @haydn.elliott

Making sense of herpes, with Rae Kennedy - S2E9

Kids can get it. Adults can get it. And did you know even elephants can get it… But there are two of the herpes simplex viruses (HSV) that hold immense shame and stigma – HSV 1 & 2, and these affect 80% of the global population. I’ve lost count of how many clients I’ve supported following a herpes diagnosis. And the omnipresent thought is always “my [sex] life is over!"

This week I’m chatting to Rae Kennedy, a registered nurse and a certified holistic sex educator, who runs the brilliant platform “Positive Results”. Rae seeks to smash stigma and normalise sex-positive education and conversation around this topic.

We chat about what herpes is and what it feels like, how to prepare yourself to talk to your partner about it, and which myths we really need to debunk (such as you can’t have a natural vaginal delivery if you have herpes 2).

Rae shares a helpful resource for partners, which you can find here: She is on Instagram @positive_results_us and her website

Why your pelvic floor is so important, with Candice Langford - S2E8

I know you’ve been told that your butt are the most neglected group of muscles in the body, but I really believe that it’s the pelvic floor that’s paid the least attention! This muscle group plays such a crucial role in our day to day function- from peeing to pain during intercourse. In this week’s episode, I chatted to the wonderful Candice Thurston (@nurtureyourvagina) about our pelvic floor and how pelvic health affects our overall wellbeing.

Candice is a physiotherapist specialising in pelvic and sexual health. Through her work in private practice and via her very popular and real social media platforms, she tackles topics like pee, poo, periods, pain and pleasure, and advocates for a fundamental shift to the way we think about, speak about and have these experiences. Candice is based in Ballito, but consults online where possible as well.

Her course “From pain to pleasure” is available via and if you use the code “friend” you will get 10% off! It’s a comprehensive 4 hour course that could really help you overcome challenges relating to painful sex.

What really happens in couples therapy, with Stephen Laverack - S2E7

I’m never surprised when consulting with a new couple that one partner is usually keen to be in couples therapy, and the other partner feels like they are being dragged there against their will. I’m also not surprised that people think couple’s therapists are there to ‘fix their partner’… which could not be further from the truth.

Stephen Laverack is Counselling Psychologist seeing individual and couples in private practice in Johannesburg. His background in HIV and sexual health education drives his interest in psychosexual therapy, whereby he aims to create a comfortable and open space for clients to open up about their sexual concerns.

Stephen helps me to dispel myths about couples therapy, shares with us what he frequently sees in his own practice, and advises couples on how to get the most out of the therapy space.

You can connect with Stephen via email on

What you should really know about sexual desire, with Dr Christopher Fox - S2E6

When it comes to wanting sex, we all want to want it… that’s what we’ve been told we should do. But that view of sexual desire is far from most people’s reality, and actually leads to people feeling that there is something wrong with them if they don’t want sex as much as their partner does.

On this week’s episode, I chat to Dr Christopher Fox, a psychosexual and relationship therapist practicing in Melbourne, Australia. He’s also the clinical director of the Masters program in Sexual Health at the University of Sydney, where I actually studied and met him. He’s also a European certified Psychosexologist as I am, and he’s someone with a wealth of experience helping clients manage sexual and relationship difficulties.

In this episode, we talk about how “low desire” is not something bad and how we need to rework our notion of desire within relationships in order to have more satisfying sex lives.

You can connect with Chris via his website or on Instagram @sexlifetherapy

What parents should know about sex ed, with Casey Blake - S2E5

We generally find it difficult to talk about sex with our partners. And when it comes to properly educating our kids about sex… It’s even more difficult! Most parents really aren’t prepared to have THE talk, and this can leave it up to others, such as schools, where we take a more "better left unsaid" approach to exploring the topic with them afterwards. This is actually detrimental to your child's sexual development!

This week I chatted to registered counsellor Casey Blake, who has a special interest in sexuality, gender, parenting, relationships, and trauma. Much of her career has focused on the emotional and psychological implications for people in a society where open and honest conversations about sex are frowned upon. She runs workshops for parents and caregivers that help feel more competent and confident to have age appropriate conversations with their children. So much of what Casey shares in this episode are concepts and lessons we all need - whether you have kids or already or you're planning to have kids someday.

You can find out more about Casey and her work by visiting her website: or on Instagram @toolsforhavingthetalks

Navigating sex after a spinal cord injury with Dr Stanley Ducharme - S2E4

Two topics you rarely think of in the same sentence are spinal cord injury and sex… and that’s exactly why I wanted to have the conversation today with my guest, Stanley Ducharme.

Stanley Ducharme, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and consultant specializing in the areas of sexual dysfunction, gender, physical disability, addictions, relationship issues and concerns of daily living. With over 25 years of clinical experience, Dr. Ducharme has worked with a wide variety of problems and has gained national and international recognition for the scope and quality of his work.

Often a forgotten part of human identity following a spinal cord injury, we explore why you should focus on relearning sex and pleasure early on, how one’s relationship can be impacted, and why a disability does not mean the end of your sex life!

You can learn more about the incredible work Stanley does via his website:

Men's sexual health in the medical space with Dr Anthony Smith - S2E3

Why is it that we don’t speak to our doctors more about sexual health? And why is opening up about this part of us even more challenging for men than it is for women?

Dr Anthony Smith has been practicing family medicine for over 20 years, but has specialised in human sexuality and is a fellow of the European Society of Sexual Medicine. He is the current president of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) (who run amazing free monthly webinars by the way), and he lectures at the University of Cape Town in human sexuality. Like me, he is also committed to educating fellow clinicians in South Africa in sexual health. 

In this episode Anthony and I delve into his experiences of treating patients sexual health, and in particular the experience that men have with their sexuality. Our conversation takes us from how COVID has impacted people seeking out help for sexual health concerns, to how pleasure is most often excluded from the patient-doctor interaction. He explores with me the expectations of young men around their sexual health issues, and what the difference is between younger and older men sexually. We have a lot of work to do to break down the shame associated with taking care of our sexual health, and this episode with Anthony is more evidence as to why we need that to happen, especially for men.

You can find out more about Anthony’s work here:

Modern concepts of love, sex & pleasure with Dr Sara Nasserzadeh - S2E2

What kind of love do you have for one another as partners? And what are you expectations of love and of your partner?

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is a social psychologist and global thought leader in the fields of couples counselling, cross-cultural fluency, diversity and inclusion. She has numerous awards and accolades, is a respected author of both academic and general books and papers, and is a trusted expert for global media, including for the BBC, CNN and . She’s also someone I look up to and respect hugely in our field. She has extensive experience researching and working with couples to overcome challenges in love and sex that they bring to her therapy room.

Sara and I delve into the vast topic of love; exploring the varying types of love we experience, and how we make sense of it now in the 21st century. I asked Sara what exactly makes for a happy, healthy and sustainable relationship between romantic partners. We explore the differences between sexual chemistry and sexual harmony, and how sexual attraction and love are not enough for a relationship to thrive. And finally, we discussed sex and pleasure, and the complex nature of these experiences individually and culturally.

You can find Sara’s work on website:

Instagram: @dr.saranasserzadeh

Podcast: The Little Black Fish

This episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness store. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but also about using great products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off, use the code FORAFRIEND at checkout (minimum spend R500:

Psychedelics with Tobias Penno - S2E1

Welcome back to Asking for a friend, and to season 2 of the podcast.

This week’s guest is Tobias Penno, an Emotional Health Practitioner & Social Worker from Australia. After years of professionally managing extreme child, family and relationship stress, Tobias has found his passion in healing Emotional Pain & Trauma through the body. He is a researcher at the University of Western Australia, with an award-winning dissertation titled How Ayahuasca Offers Psychosocial Wellbeing and is currently working on a PhD researching the links between attachment trauma, the body, and best-practice in psychedelic integration therapy.

In this episode, we delve into the misconceptions of psychedelics, how Tobias uses preparation and integration therapy alongside psychedelics to assist clients struggling with common mental health difficulties, and how psychedelics could be used to improve our experience of sex and why.

You can learn more about Tobias and his work here:
Facebook: Emotional Health Care

Note: I do not condone the use of any substances recreationally, and this episode is not about encouraging substance misuse. This is about science and developing research in treating mental health difficulties.

This episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness store. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but also about using great products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off, use the code FORAFRIEND at checkout (minimum spend R500:

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